Perspectives are powerful. The way we think of an opponent is an important factor in our ability to recognize opportunity and excel.
Whether an opponent is across the table, on the other side of a line or rushing in droves, an opponent can bring out the best in us, since being at our very best may be the only chance we have at reaching our own objective. Training the next generation in how to regard and interact with opponents dramatically affects confidence, relationships, skill development and the exchange of ideas and knowledge. On the homeschool stage, or any educational setting, a healthy engagement of opposing concepts enhances education exponentially, encouraging critical thinking, logic and a host of other skills.
Challenge is opportunity. Competition teases us into a better self. As iron sharpens iron, adversaries draw to the surface strength and lay bare weakness like nothing else, opening the best opportunities to rebuild ourselves better. Anyone who helps in the journey of improvement is due a proper measure of respect and gratitude, whether it is warranted by their character or merely their role.
"I always played my best when I respected my opponent and was a little scared of them, because they could beat me." - Christian Laettner
Without an adversary, we are limited in more ways than can be realized. It is only when we look back on a struggle that we can accurately assess the benefits and recognize what it caused us to build within ourselves. Competition raises the bar incrementally. Somewhere inside we find just a little more and then a little more again, each time building in ourselves a little more and a little more as new standards are set and excellence is redefined.
Whether physical or ideological, opponents push us to:
Improve our Precision: As ideas are weighed and knowledge is questioned in an argument, the need to clarify exactly what we assert and why tests the merit of our beliefs and understanding. If there is a weakness, a skilled opponent will likely find it, forcing us to do better by searching out accurate and complete data, rewording statements to be more effective and ensuring any gaps in reason are cleanly cinched up. Conversely, analyzing an adversary’s stance builds discernment and speed in pinpointing flaws and challenging loose correlations, weak support, subtle contradictions or dodgy wording.
Strengthen our Core: Differing opinions light each other up from new angles, proving how solid or soft the core is and offering a healthy dose of motivation to tighten and refine beliefs. The process of retracing a belief or argument down to its roots is an opportunity to build our thoughts and ourselves better. When the work is put in, confidence is built alongside those refined concepts and being open-minded becomes an intriguing competitive test rather than a threat.
Heighten our Awareness: Nothing hones the senses like a threat. Adversaries exercise our focus and awareness in unexpected directions, making it critical to keep in mind the objective; while tracking what is happening moment to moment. Skills in sensing subtle shifts in opportunity, body language, approach, etc. develop with experience and even listening can become strategic, noting details, phrases to reuse, emotional undertones, tangents run and bait set.
Sharpen our Intellect: Active engagement with a rival exercises and develops resourcefulness, strategy, critical thinking and reasoning. Speed and accuracy in identifying faulty reasoning, unfounded statements or emotional manipulation improves. All the while, acknowledging quality points made and figuring out how to account for them in one’s own philosophical calculus becomes an equally valuable skill.
Train our Reflexes: As a person void of natural athletic reflexes, I appreciate the power of training responses to the point of becoming reflex. Interpersonal and intrapersonal responses are equally trainable: tact, emotional control, posing questions first, affirming points of agreement, etc.
Refine our Character. Vying for the upper hand in anything tests character. All attempts exact, not only our determination to win, but also how we are willing to win. The nature of our intentions, work ethic, self-discipline, sportsmanship, humility, and integrity are tried. When they do not prove true, we have the opportunity to build ourselves better - the ultimate win.
The better the adversary, the faster we can advance our own skills on a field of play or in life. In preparation to face off, tactics are studied, techniques and arguments are adjusted, our own weaknesses are examined and strengthened and we glean clever tidbits from our opponents’ tactics. All these little improvements can transform our character, quality of life, relationships or performance as individuals or as a society. This is why our social nature is so beneficial to our development, our continued refinement and our creative exploration. Sometimes, escaping perceived limitations just takes the right adversary.
The fight is Invigorating as well as humbling. No one likes the humbling part, however it can be the best catalyst for honest reflection, balanced perspectives, empathic relations and crucial experience dealing with unexpected turn-of-events. Getting back up, dusting ourselves off, and shaking the hand of our opponent is our defining moment of character. Likewise, when an opponent has been knocked off their feet, we can offer a hand to help them up, meet their eyes as a friendly competitor, remember their name and appreciate what they put out on the field.
"Always keep the lines of communication open with your adversaries." - Daryl Davis - It is worth a moment to read about Daryl Davis' activism.
America was built on the idea that we are stronger together. We need competitors to be our best. The vying of ideas, the constructive clash of competing concepts, has an awesome potential for collective improvement. Hence, as a good sport, respect for the contenders, including ideological opponents, demonstrates a basic understanding of how we rarely achieve our best without a rival actively engaging in competition with us. It is the essence of all sport and the essence of civilized development.
Gratitude for the challenge, the competition, the opportunity our opponent brings, keeps our heads in the game…the real game…building ourselves better and contributing to society. Education that reflects this concept by giving time to consider opposing ideas and hashes out the pros and cons of each idea, builds independent thinkers that are more skilled, balanced, confident and have more to offer.
Respect for the opponent is a simple wisdom that keeps a mind open to opportunity and fed by challenge.
-S. E. Bocker
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